Sunday, October 14, 2012

What's Your Identity Based On?



 When you face a major change in your life—retirement, losing your job, your kids leaving for college, or an unexpected accident—you quickly discover that a large part of your identity was invested in something or someone that is no longer there. Who are you now without the former activities and relationships?
You, or who you thought you were, must change to fit into a new world, a new job, and an entirely new daily scheduled.
Beware of what follows “I am” because that’s where you place your identity and limit your sense of self. Keep your identity eggs—like your investments—in several baskets, never in just one. You could say that the only thing that needs to follow "I am" is a period; as in "I am." "I am here; I exist and I refuse to be defined by a limited identity."

To be resilient during the inevitable changes of life, your identity must be more than your job title, your roles in the lives of others, and much more than who you think you are.

            What do you need to know about maintaining a robust, resilient identity? _______________
            Which baskets are holding your identity eggs?    ____________________________________

            What will you do today to find and expand a new aspect of your larger sense of self? ______


beforewisdom said...

I think the late Dr. Albert Ellis' concept of USA ( Universal Self Acceptance ) is one of the most powerful self-help concepts around.

He wrote, that "self esteem", which is conditional self acceptance, is dangerous as conditions change.

It sounds like you have a similar idea regarding identity. One many can related to these days with high unemployment.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr. Fiore:

THANK YOU for all your work and insights! I absolutely love your books, and they have helped me tremendously.

I wish you would post regularly and frequently on your blog. You have so much insight and experience. It doesn't have to be some super polished, earth shattering things to post. Just your thoughts, observations, examples and pieces, even if small, of wisdom.

Thank you! Olga Geling, Ph.D.